Oh, and spare a thought for little old us. We may have bought our dream home in the naturist zone, but to even call it a “project” is a crime against trade descriptions. We are currently without a proper kitchen and there are only so many pasta-in-a-jar meals one can cope with. Thankfully, we have had rather a number of very kind neighbours who, realising our plight, have invited us over for dinner. In fact, this weekend we are booked in for a 'full works' Sunday Roast – maybe we’ll delay the new kitchen (queue wicked laugh and pointed out little finger). Another Spanish neighbour baked us the biggest sponge cake we've ever seen...allegedly healthy having been made with olive oil and no sugar...so of course we just had to eat the lot because it must be zero calories!

Talking of kitchens, we were chatting to one of our neighbours only the other day on the naturist beach. I couldn’t remember the word for kidney in Spanish but I pointed to where my kidneys are and said that I shall be selling one in order to pay for our new kitchen. She screamed with laughter, cupped my face and said “No Chris. ¡No es tu riñón!” (“No Chris, not your kidney!”) then play-slapped Steve on the cheek. We all laughed, but to be frank, I don’t think I’m entirely joking about the kidney!

Domestics aside, a month or so ago we got an alert from a regular guests of ours about an article featured in the latest issue of H&E magazine – the longest running naturist publication in Britain (and the only monthly naturist magazine in the world). Teresa writes a regular ‘Eye on Spain’ feature for H&E Magazine. She had come across a strange article that didn’t sit with her personal experience of VP. She quoted a bit from the article and asked readers if they had experienced what the article was claiming. With the help of our dear Spanish friend and neighbour, Rafael, light was shone on the truth behind the article Teresa was referring to. It was ‘El Español’ – a far right publication close to ‘VOX’ which is a homophobic, xenophobic, anti-feminist far right political party. The article intentionally creates a false war between Gay and straight naturists. Why? It’s simple – according to Rafael, VOX voters resent that gay people are getting integrated into the community, and that straight and gay people celebrate Gay Pride together in total freedom - which is a freedom we so much love about Vera Playa. H&E editor-in-chief, Sam, kindly allowed me a reply which was published in the following edition, along with another VP aficionado’s opinion. So, thanks to Teresa for originally raising the point, the guest for alerting me to it, Rafael for his help in translation and Sam for enabling the matter to be set straight. A win all round! You can read the full article by subscribing to H&E magazine on-line.

Getting back to the nicer things at VP, it always marks a certain point in the year when Alexandra’s sunbeds are put to bed (pardon the pun) for the upcoming winter months. Steve took photos from above of the tractor removing said beds and posted it on our Facebook page. Alexandra saw Steve’s photos and posted “Yes, its safe home now. Ready to get sandpapered and protection painted. I will be back for the 1st of May 2020. Wish you all a good winter time. Hugs and kisses Alexandra.”

We’ll see you in May Alexandra!

So, with the main season coming to a close for the year, a new wave of people arrive to VP – the affectionately named ‘Snowbirds’ or, ‘Snowflakes’ as a certain neighbour who shall remain nameless incorrectly but hilariously calls them. Steve and I kept a straight face but then sobbed with laughter once round the corner and out of sight. You know who you are, bless you!

Did you know that on average, VP gets full sun for over 300 days a year? The weather here is quite tropical, and as such, when we do get a storm it can be intense but is over very quickly. A rare deluge of rain can come in the morning, and be gone by lunchtime with the sky turning back to clear blue just as fast. A few weeks ago, we were predicted a terrible storm (actually due the day we were supposed to move home – typical!). Thankfully, the worst of the storm missed us but hit further up the coast instead. Nevertheless, the bit of weather we did get, washed up lots of wood and branches onto the beach which served as a new home for a little chameleon! Our guests Derek and Carol managed to capture him on camera – let’s call him ‘Karma’ (as in Chameleon) – and I include it in the photos below. We don’t know what ever happened to Karma because soon after, the council tractor was on the beach cleaning it all up. The council were slightly criticised for dragging their heels to do the clean up operation on the naturist section of beach, but in fairness to them there was a simple explanation for this: The non naturist stretch of beach was almost deserted so it was easy for the clean-up to commence there, whereas the naturist beach was really busy - a testiment to the "bare pound" - so the council had to wait for things to quieten down a bit before they could move in. Anyway, all ended well and people could resume normal sunbathing activity. Away from the beach and back at their 'Almodóvar' accommodation, Derek and Carol celebrated their holiday and new found love of reptiles with some pink sparkles on the terrace and sent us proof of the half-drunk bottle (ermm where was the invite guys?!!) – which I include below to show you how fast weather returns to normal blue skies so soon after a whistle-stop storm!

Puntonat naturist street bar is under new management and has had a lick of paint and new signage. It’s looking good. They have been doing a barbeque every weekend and seem to have quite a good following. It has always made us chuckle in the winter months. You’d be driving down the road, and sat outside Puntonat would be a group of people, completely naked enjoying a glass or three, then you’d drive by a little later and they would still be there but having moved to the opposite side of the street to keep up with the moving sun, then you’d drive past later, and the same people would have moved their chairs literally into the middle of the road to ensure every last drop of sun is received onto their bare flesh. Technically this is a traffic hazard, but no one seems to mind – not even the local police – it’s just accepted as part of the laid-back naturist zone. I hope the new owners will continue to stay open through the winter months. We’ll have to wait and see.

And so, it’s time for me to wrap it up (although no need to wrap up in clothes – it’s so hot out there – yes, October, that’s normal here). I’ve set up a little table for two on a shady part of our lovely new terrace. Time for lunch with a view…Perfect. See you soon.